It's a 24/7 job
My daughter is two-years-old going on 16. It happens that fast. Lately I have been reading, brainstorming, talking with my husband about how to deal with my daughter’s “temper tantrums.” She can get angry at the drop of a hat it seems like.
I came across an article this week from The Kid’s Doctor and it talked about a recent study published in the journal Development and Psychopathology.
The research says that toddlers are more likely to become easily agitated and act out if their parents are quick to anger and overreact. The study also talked about how genetics seem to play a role in children’s behaviors.
The Kid’s Doctor suggests, “to help your child learn self-control you must model good self-control. Show that good emotional control and problem solving are the ways to deal with a difficult situation.”
I always try to remember that my toddler can’t fully communicate to me exactly how she feels. As a result, throwing a “tantrum” is one way for her to let me know she is not feeling whatever moment we are in a particular time.”
I like to believe that as her language skills improve, her tantrums will start decreasing.
The worst time for me in having to deal with a tantrum has got to be in the “store” while shopping! WHAT DO YOU DO?
You’re damned if you do and your damned if you don’t. Your kid starts screaming, if you start disciplining people start looking at you as if you are beating your kid. On the other side, if you DON’T discipline, you’re a horrible parent because you are letting your child be a CRAZY animal in the store. I try to avoid eye contact and give my toddler a firm whisper in the ear.
This method failed during my last trip to Target. I left the cart and we left the store and went home. She wanted down from the cart. I let her down once, and she ran away from me. I said, “no more.” And she didn’t like that. So we left.
I have made myself a “mom rule.” If I say “no,” I am going to stick to the “no.” Even if afterward I think, well maybe I was too “harsh.” I don’t want to go back on my decision and make her think that if she throws a tantrum or whines… then “mom will end of saying yes. This move worked on my mom. But I can’t let it work on me. I know the trick. (sorry mom, I put you through hell.)
Kidshealth.com offers a ton of tips for parents of toddlers who want to avoid tantrums.
A couple I read that I will try.
1. When my toddler is tired or hungry. I will NOT run that errand.
2. Choose your battles. You don’t always have to say “no.” Life isn’t all that serious. Accommodate when you can or offer an “alternative.”
During tantrums sometimes our first answer is “TIME OUT.” But maybe your little one just had a huge disappointment and needs some comfort and not a firm time out.
Another suggestion Kidshealth.com suggests is ignoring a tantrum. If he/she doesn’t get her way… let them be. But don’t leave them alone. Just choose to “ignore.”
If you’re in public, always a good idea to take your child somewhere quiet, out to the car, into the bathroom, outside, etc. to calm down.
What are some ways you handle tantrums in your household?